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Two for Tuesday Midtown. Get your coffee while it’s hot… or cold.

Not much to report today. Mostly paperwork and “work”. This is the temperature at work when I arrived:

“Do you work at the North Pole?” No. I work in a Shelby County building. After I turned the heat up for two hours, the temperature rose to 56.5. Welcome to winter at work, where you wear a parka “at” work, “in” the office. Oh and gloves help as well. (Although I find it difficult to type while wearing the gloves). Usually when I complain to County Employee’s, the conversation goes like this; “Hello? Yes, the temperature is 54 degree’s INSIDE the office. Can someone fix this?”

My plans for tomorrow? A childs Halloween party. No biggie. Food and drinks and it should be fun.

Plans for this weekend? I will be on the Mexico border for a wedding. WHAT? You read that sentence correctly; Mexico border… wedding. Two words; “mexican food”. Or should I say “REAL mexican food”. (To put it correctly, Tex-mex food). And I can’t wait to eat. The downside? I am pretty sure the wedding will be conducted in Spanish. “No abla Espanola”. Funny thing is, I went to a wedding in the same town many years ago, and that wedding was conducted in spanish as well. Even better, my friend that I am going to attend the wedding with doesn’t speak spanish either. This should make for a fun weekend. Le the fiesta begin!

One of my favorite websites has been knocked out due to the NYC storm. Lifehacker.com is down. So weird. I read the site daily.

Since Halloween is almost upon us, I will repeat a “true” story from my past. Yes, I used this same story this time last year. The story takes place when I was a teen and at the time scared us kids TO DEATH. So, settle in for a          spook-tacular story. See YOU tomorrow for more tea, scary stories and border weddings.

“Wait. Are we done? I haven’t told my spooky Halloween story yet. So here is the “true but the names have been changed to protect the innocent” story (actually no names have been changed and they were not so innocent, let me tell you). This story takes place in the fall. Nearly 30 years ago, my dumb teenage friends and I decided to go to the movies to see one of those scary slasher, homicidal maniac movies. You know, the one where the serial killer kills one camper at a time. “I have to go to the bathroom, but I will be right back!” Nooo….. he isn’t coming back. Don’t go to the bathroom! There is a crazed serial killer on the loose! You know it and I know it. This guy is not leaving the bathroom alive. And if a character managed to escape the steely knife of the killer, and was running from said killer, you KNOW the person HAD to slip and fall! Doh! I ALMOST made it out of the woods, to the car, before the maniac snares me! (Always wear good running shoes. Just sayin’). Where was I? Oh yes. My dumb friends and I watch the scary movie. None of us were REALLY scared because we are tough teenage boys. Yeah! Movie ends and we all give a nervous laugh. None of us were scared. Right? We arrive at my friend’s house. His EMPTY house. His parents are gone for the evening. (Wait. Isn’t this how ALL scary movies begin?) We aren’t scared. But we check all the closets JUST IN CASE the serial killer is hiding in the house. (The serial killer may have followed us home from the movies. It could happen). After checking the house to make sure no knife wielding maniacs are present, we settle in for some late night t.v. and records. (YES there were records back then. Those flat, round, black things you placed on a turn table …. oh never mind). Back to the story. We are STILL amped up  from the shocking movie we had just viewed at the theater. Just then my friend asks me “What was that?” “What was what?” I ask in reply. “I thought I heard something”. “Stop being stupid” I nervously replied. Guys do this to other guys. We LOVE to scare each other. “No, I heard something” he said. Now I know he is fooling around, trying to scare me. My friend is so sure he heard something, he orders us to search the house. Nothing is amiss. There are no animals to make sounds. There is no one in the house except my friends and I. Maybe his imagination was running wild after that psycho movie we had just watched. Twenty minutes later a muffled “THUDDDdddd” is heard by all of us. Now I hear the sound. Crap! I heard it! My other friends heard the same sound. WE ARE ALONE IN THE HOUSE. THERE IS NO ONE ELSE THAT CAN MAKE THAT SOUND IN THE HOUSE. And now us tough teenage boys are scared. “Search the house!” my friend orders. Again we search the house. Slowly I looked under the beds, pulling the bedspreads up from the floor slowllllly. Nothing. I YANK open the closet door. Nothing there either. Maybe the serial killer is outside, rattling the windows. I pull the curtains aside anddddd…… NOTHING. Someone or something is in the house, making a noise. And it is not us. Twenty minutes later…… “THUDDDdddd” Again! We are all standing in the living room TOGETHER. THERE IS SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE WITH US. WE ARE CONVINCED! CRAP! DOUBLE CRAP! (and other bad words I won’t mention here!) WE ARE SCARED! SOMEONE IS IN THE HOUSE! “Check the house again!” my friend says under his breath. Did the serial killer hear my friend last time? Does the knife wielding maniac have a great hiding place? A place we had yet to search in the house? We split up, each taking different rooms. (Exactly what the murderer WANTS us to do). After a few minutes, I heard my friend yell “Guys, come here!” HE’S FOUND THE KNIFE WIELDING MANIAC! He must have been in the garage! WE FORGOT TO SEARCH THE GARAGE! As we ran into the kitchen, my friend stands near the center. My friend smiles and says “Check this out!” We all stand in awe, hearts about to leap from our chests. THE KILLER IS HIDING IN THE REFRIGERATOR! MY FRIEND OPENS THE FREEZER DOOR AND ….. we notice the ice maker. Smiling, he points to the ice maker. THE ICE MAKER! Every twenty minutes or so, the ice maker would make the ice, then dump (THUDDDddd) the ice into a plastic box. “Ohhhh….” We all breathed a sigh of relief. Although we were CERTAIN there was a manic killer on the loose in the house, it turned out to only be the ice maker. That ice maker did scare some teenagers to a near certain death that night. And that night which started as a fun night out with my friends, watching a “slasher movie”, turned out to be a frightening night that I will never forget.”

Make sure to check out the stuff I purchased on the top of the page.

Memphis Events:

Cooper Young First Thursday – Thursday Nov. 1st. Cooper Young. Go!

Sock It To Me Burlesque – Hi-Tone, November 10th, Doors at 9, $10 tickets. The John Hughes show; “16 Scandals”. Go!